


Wanting

by rainingover



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Introspection, M/M, post ep 4
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-30
Updated: 2016-10-30
Packaged: 2018-08-28 01:10:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8424739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainingover/pseuds/rainingover
Summary: Victor wants to be sure that he understands what Yuuri wants from his career. He also kind of wants to be sure that he understands what Yuuri wants from him. And not just in terms of his program.





	

Victor closes his eyes, listens to the seagulls overhead and takes in a deep breath. It’s still early and, as much as he had wanted Yuuri to join him this morning (as much as he's now used to Yuuri being beside him at all hours of the day) Victor is trying not to crowd him so much, which is not easy. It’s not _him._

But Victor wants to be sure that he understands what Yuuri wants from his career. He also kind of wants to be sure that he understands what Yuuri wants from _him_. And not just in terms of his program.

Victor closes his eyes, listens to the seagulls overhead and imagines Yuuri next to him.

When he gets back to the onsen, Yuuri is still asleep in his room.

But that's okay.

 

\--

 

Yuuri’s eyes are ablaze with determination. “I want to keep practising,” he says, chest heaving, fists clenched, as Victor leaves the ice.

Victor can’t help but smile, but he suppresses it as best he can before he turns back. “I admire your stamina, Yuuri. But tonight we are going to sleep early, so that we're able to wake up earlier tomorrow.”

Yuuri’s mouth falls open and his skin glows pink with embarrassment. He clearly knows that by ‘we’ Victor means nothing of the sort; Yuuri is fully aware that Victor is always at his door with the sunrise, demanding they begin their day together. 

“We’re going to the ocean again!” Victor adds. “I hope you’ll take my advice and take yourself to bed as soon as we get back.”

(Victor doesn't take his own advice, though. Doesn’t sleep early at all, slips out with Makkachin a little after two and runs until his body is tired enough to trick his mind into turning off.

He’s still awake before Yuuri the next morning.)

 

\--

 

Makkachin rolls in the sand beside them, and Yuuri laughs as Victor sneaks glances at Yuuri’s face. “Do you ever read the things people write about you on the internet?” He asks.

“Sometimes. I try not to," Yuuri replies.

Victor mulls this over. The seagulls are especially loud today and, for a fraction of a second, Victor is back in St Petersburg, working on his own program, wondering if he has another year left in him. “Yuuri, do you ever worry about-- about how much time you have left?”

He isn’t sure why he’s asking, except for that he wants desperately to understand Yuuri (and maybe he wants to know if Yuuri understands him too.)

“Yes.” Yuuri isn’t watching Makkachin anymore and Victor feels like maybe they’re having the most honest conversation of their relationship so far. 

“It’s good to think about it,” Victor says. “None of us are immortal and the ice isn’t forgiving to the passing of time.”

Yuuri nods quickly. Says with sincerity, “That’s why, more than ever, I want to prove that I can succeed.”

Victor grins. “Did you know, I haven’t felt this excited about skating in a long, long time?”

Yuuri’s eyes are wide.

“You feel it too, don’t you?” Victor asks. “This -- this is _special._ ”

He watches Yuuri’s face as he nods; the determination and the unyielding passion and the flickers of uncertainty that still remain. “I feel it," he breathes.

Victor knows that Yuuri wants this partnership to succeed as much as he does. And, maybe some of their reasons for wanting it are different, and maybe _they’re_ different, but that’s okay because Yuuri feels it too.

 

\--

 

Sometimes it’s only about skating. Sometimes it isn’t.

Sometimes Victor closes his eyes, listens to the seagulls and focuses on the ice. On the music, on the program, on the thrill of the competition.

Sometimes he thinks about these things and then-- _then_ his thoughts turn to Yuuri’s yearning embrace, the way he pulls Victor in close when he completes a jump he’d all but given up on, exclaims, “I did it!” and then pulls away with a look on his face that makes Victor want to pull him back against him and not let him go.

And then there’s the times that Victor doesn’t think about skating at all.

It’s usually in the early hours of the morning, when he tells himself that he's trying to sleep, but instead he's thinking. Thinking about what he’s doing here, and what he’ll do afterwards. About what people expect him to do, and whether what he’s doing is enough for him, for them, for anyone.

At times like these he would usually wake Makkochin up and head out into the dark for some clarity, but he can’t. Maybe because it’s raining or maybe because Makkochin has taken to sleeping in Yuuri’s bed. So, instead, Victor kicks off the sheets, closes his eyes and thinks about the ocean, about the gulls overhead and Yuuri next to him.

About pressing Yuuri down against the sand and tasting the salt from the spray of the ocean on Yuuri’s mouth.

He wakes up to Yuuri knocking at his door, finds Makkochin at his side when he opens it.

“Should we take a run to the ocean this morning?” Yuuri asks, his mouth turned up into a nervous smile.

“I think Makkochin would enjoy that,” Victor replies, enjoying the blush that spreads across Yuuri’s cheeks at the sight of his sleepwear (or lack of it). “As would I.”

 

\--

 

“I can’t remember a time when I wanted anything other than success.” Victor sits down on the sand as Yuuri approaches, holds out a water bottle for him.

“You still do.” Yuuri takes a drink and then begins to stretch out his calf muscles. After a while he looks at Victor. “Don’t you?”

“Yes. I still want that.” Victor reaches out to perfect Yuuri’s position. Adds, “I want other things too.”

Yuuri watches him curiously and for a moment Victor wonders if Yuuri’s going to push the question, but he doesn’t, and Victor can’t decide whether he’s relieved or disappointed.

“This isn’t just about skating now,” Victor says, looking up at Yuuri, and Yuuri flushes, of course he does, but there’s a flicker of recognition in his eyes.

“I know,” Yuuri says softly as he sits down next to him and pushes damp hair back from his forehead. “This is special.”

And as Victor listens to the seagulls and breathes in the salty air, he thinks that maybe they both want the same things after all.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Oh, Victor ;; 
> 
> This show continues to be The Best Thing.


End file.
